Susan hated those feelings. To guard herself against these deep feelings of loss, Susan decided at a subconscious level not to become too attached to other people. After all, if one doesn't climb too high on the happiness-ladder one won't fall very far either. Now when a favorite aunt or cousin comes to visit, Susan begins to close herself off from them long before their actual departure. She becomes sullen, silent and uncommunicative - she feels she is guarding herself against the inevitable low she will feel when they leave her. Unfortunately, for many people like Susan, the good always seems to be dwarfed by the bad -- no matter how normal or successful they are.
By allowing the negative to take the foreground rather than the background, they have an anchor to protect themselves from being too optimistic or hopeful in their expectations. They believe that by hanging onto their fears, they won't lose control or become too euphoric or too happy, which could put them in a position to have their hopes dashed. This is why it is seemingly easier for them to fear love than to receive it; love can always be lost - why take the chance?
The irony is that when we try to protect ourselves from possible loss in a relationship by entering into it with reluctance, we effectively guard ourselves against the possibility of happiness. Sure, love requires a chance; yet, let's face it - it's the only game in town. I love that Abba song that says, "If you change your mind, I'm the first in line; take a chance on me. My love is strong enough to last when things are rough; take a chance on me." Those who have a tendency to guard themselves against happiness need to make a deliberate effort to seek the good in themselves and in others, while seeing sadness as a necessary payment in the pursuit of happiness.
"Beloved, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is pleasing, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." (Philippians 4:8), Your happiness depends upon your bringing the best things to the foreground. Playing it safe isn't all that great - just ask Susan. Don't be on guard against good things just because they might end!