LOG ON: Adding wood to make the fire hotter.
LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the fire.
MONITOR: Keeping an ear on the baby
DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the truck.
HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any beer.
KEYBOARD: Where you hang the truck keys.
WINDOW: What you shut when the weather's cold.
SCREEN: What you shut in the bug season.
BYTE: What bugs do.
MEGABYTE: What city bugs do..
CHIP: A bar snack.
MICROCHIP: What's left in the bag after you've eaten the chips.
MODEM: What you did to the lawns.
LAPTOP: Where the cat sleeps.
SOFTWARE: Plastic knives & forks you get at parties.
HARDWARE: Stainless steel knives & forks - from K-Mart.
MAINFRAME: What holds the shed up.
WEB: What spiders make.
WEBSITE: Usually in the shed or under the verandah.
SEARCH ENGINE: What you do when the truck won't go.
CURSOR: What you say when the truck won't go.
YAHOO: What you say when the truck does go.
UPGRADE: A steep hill
USER: The neighbor who keeps borrowing things.
NETWORK: What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.
INTERNET: Where you want the fish to go.
NETSCAPE: What the fish do when they discover the hole in the net
ONLINE: Where you hang the washing.
OFFLINE: Where the washing ends up when the pegs aren't strong enough
Now they call me "The Chinook Sage," The Old Guy who is, "COMPLETELY COMPUTER LITERATE" and on my third computer. I am working on the task to convince myself that I NEED that newfangled thing called "A CELL PHONE"